


Me? Harsh?

by Fellow_Human_Being



Category: DRRR!, Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Orihara Izaya-centric, Regret, Rejection, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22873816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fellow_Human_Being/pseuds/Fellow_Human_Being
Summary: Cruel, me?” Izaya questioned, not looking at her but out the window from his chair. “Namie, you disappoint me. Of all people, I would have hoped you would understand why I act the way I do when you claim to know me the most.”Izaya sighed and swirled around, looking at Naime in the eye before a small smile makes it on his face. A smile that must be fake, Namie thought to herself. “If your bones were broken and left to bleed to death by a monster, only for the monster to come and say they truly loved you months later, how would you react?”
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	Me? Harsh?

“Let go of me, you monster!” Izaya spat at the fake blond, feeling rage take over his body. The anger eating up his mind, destroying all sense and thoughts, consuming everything.  _ How dare he, how dare this beast do this to me! _

Shizuo just stares at him with wide eyes, his grip on the raven’s wrist tremble as Izaya continued. Heartbreaking as Izaya spoke with such venom. 

“Did you really expect me to suddenly blush and say I feel the same to you? When you literally were determined to kill me just two months ago, not holding back with your strength with a drive to kill me!? You must really be a dimwitted monster if you believe in such an idiotic and crazy thing.” Izaya pulled his wrist back, glares at Shizuo one last time before letting a harsh laugh break free. “You really are naive, Shizuo.”

And just like that Izaya left Shizuo, having the Monster of Ikebukuro feeling like a broken, insignificant, and delicate man with a crushed heart.

___________________   
**…….**

___________________

Two weeks had already passed since he last went to Ikebukuro before he was forced to go back due to work purposes. Izaya could have avoided all work that involves that now dreadful city, but that would mean trying the Awakusu’s patient, and Shiki isn’t one to have patience with a reason as stupid as Izaya’s. Usually, if he doesn’t want to go to the city during the day, he can use the high schooler Kida to gather information if it was minor business and have Celty to deliver any information to a client. Sadly, it seemed Celty is currently refusing all types of jobs from him the day after he rejected the monster.

“Ah, I forgot they were besties.” Izaya sighed to himself, Namie glaring at him since she knows that he’s talking to himself once again. “Who would have thought she would act human by relying on her feelings to act upon, denying to do anything for the man who hurt her so-called best friends. Ah, I guess this is also just monsters sticking with fellow monsters.”

“I guess you can say the same as you,” Namie pointed out carefully as she watched Izaya’s movements closely. “ You were basically huffing and stomping all around like an angry child that was just told no. Honestly, I’m amazed at how angry you were. It makes me wonder if I should be feeling bad for your self-claimed monster because of how cruel you make it out to be.”

She’s not stupid, she knows to not mess with Izaya for he is a dangerous man. It’s not just if she values her work and the high income of cash, but if she valued the life she’s currently living then she can’t risk upsetting Izaya too much. Yet, there are times she’s either perplex or amused that she forgets that each word is carved in Izaya’s heart. 

“Cruel, me?” Izaya questioned, not looking at her but out the window from his chair. “Namie, you disappoint me. Of all people, I would have hoped you would understand why I act the way I do when you claim to know me the most.”

Izaya sighed and swirled around, looking at Naime in the eye before a small smile makes it on his face. A smile that must be fake, Namie thought to herself. “If your bones were broken and left to bleed to death by a monster, only for the monster to come and say they truly loved you months later, how would you react?”

Namie didn’t respond, knowing he would simply carry on with the conversation either way. “Anger, disgusted, and doubt will clearly be things that will bring in mind. Of course, I’m not saying I’m a human for taking actions of one. I am and always will be the one above humans, being their God. I simply told a monster what they needed to understand, that a God can’t be with a monster, that will only hurt its’ human servants if a God were to do so.”

“So it wasn’t the anger that drove you to shout at him and killed him with words?” Namie asked, knowing how he won’t ever come to the truth. Izaya always had a riddled to a fake persona, an answer practiced for years so reality will never settle. “That you couldn’t just say no to him and calmly state your reasons? Or laugh and mock him enough to continue this cat and mouse game?”

Izaya glared at her but said nothing. Instead, he stood up and grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, only to stop in front of the door to speak to her with his back to her. “You won’t understand what I had to go through, how he hurt me with this lesson as well in the past.”

And he was gone, leaving Namie alone in the apartment. She stared at the door, only to sigh and pack her things. She had finished a while ago, only staying to see how Izaya was doing. She knew there was a reason for him to be harsher than usual, only for her to be right. 

___________________   
**…….**

___________________

Every time Izaya found himself frustrated, he had the desire for sushi. Ones from Russia Sushi especially. Ootro really does make things better.

‘They don’t need to know, just act normal.’ Izaya thought to himself, gritting his teeth as he stomped over to the restaurant. He noticed the stares of people, noticing how some involved with the friends of Shizuo that are glaring at him. He noticed that even Kadota’s gang seemed to look at him as well.

‘Just ignored them,’ Izaya sighed, so close to entering the restaurant. ‘Just order take-outs and I’ll be on my way to my oh-so-wonderful home.’

“I-za-ya,” Izaya turned and saw the big Russian man, smiling at him and waving him with a flyer. “Come come, eat sushi! Sushi is good today, fresh batch today. Not a fresh batch of humans, just fish, come come.”

Izaya let go of a breath of relief, glad to see Simon is either not informed or doesn’t really care. “That’s just what I was going to do, I came here for take-out-the usual of course.”

Simon nodded and went to the back, leaving Izaya alone with his thoughts. That didn’t last for long though.

“Are you Orihara Izaya?” Izaya looked up and wasn’t surprised it was Shizuo’s kohai, the not so fragile girl that works with him. 

“And what business do you have me?” Izaya asked, playing innocently and confused about why she is speaking to him. He already figured what she wanted to talk about, for it wasn’t that hard to figure it out.

Vorona glared at him, looking as if she was going to smack him for a second before thinking against it. Izaya couldn’t help but think it's a funny expression after hearing how expressionless she often is. “I’m here on the behalf of my senpai, Shizuo-san, to say how much of a horrible person you are.” 

“Ah,” Izaya said mockingly. “I believe that just breaks my heart. To be called horrible, never had I ever been insulted like that! My heart, oh my heart!”

“I’m not here to just say that. I’m here to discuss your actions, they were harsh and shouldn’t be forgiven as a human being. I don’t see what he likes about you, but I can say he deserves much better-”

She was cut off by Izaya’s laughter, her eyes widened to see the man having the trouble of containing himself. Vorona felt her hands curled into fists, nails digging into her palms, anger taking over her body as he slowly stopped himself and wiped away tears from laughing too much. 

“Really now,” Izaya smirked, nodding thanks to Simon when he appeared with his box of take-out, walking out of the restaurant after paying with Vorona following him. “Am I really harsh? Sure, maybe as a human to another human then it would be considered harsh. But you forgot Shizuo is a monster and I’m above humans, our interaction is not even close to harsh. Plus, what else does he deserve? You said he deserves much better, or at least someone other than me. Did you perhaps think of yourself?”

Izaya twirled around, loving the flustered and annoyance look on her. “Are you angry that it turns out he can’t see you as a woman? That it turns out he chose me over you, is that why you came to me after I rejected him? To tell me that I was stupid to not take the one who you’re currently in love with?”

Vorona didn’t say anything, her face red as shame was written on her face. Hearing Tom calling her name, she turned on her heel swiftly and walked away too much of Izaya’s relief. He’s seriously starting to get tired of talking about Shizuo. 

“Izaya,” Izaya turned and was surprised to see Kadota frowning before nodding at him in greeting. Behind him, his small gang staring at him, especially Erika. Izaya wonders if they’ve heard what he said. Maybe they did, he wasn’t exactly trying to be quiet.

“Nice meeting with you, Dotachin!” Izaya gave him a smile, only for it to be wiped off when he only received silence and stares. He didn’t even make the effort to correct him on the name like he usually does, he simply stared at him for a while before sighing. 

“Izaya, can we talk?” Kadota didn’t wait for Izaya’s answer, he simply started walking towards his van. Sighing, Izaya followed, glad that the others didn’t make any moves to follow. 

Once they stood shielded away from public eyes behind the van, Kadota leaned on the van as Izaya looked at the sky as if he was praying to the Gods. Which was funny, Kadota thought to himself, that Izaya would be praying to those he claims to be one of.

“Izaya-”

“I'm hoping you’re not saying my name as if I’m in trouble.” Izaya interrupted him, Kadota’s strange behavior annoying him now. He always thought Kadota would simply leave the business between Shizuo and Izaya be, always thought he would be the one to stay neutral.

“Remember how in high school Shizuo would often chase you in high school?” Izaya flinched at the reminder of the past, fully well-aware of what point Kadota is trying to bring. “Often, you would smile and smirk at him. Loving how to confuse he got when you suddenly were nice and help him study-”

_ I tried to actually befriend him-offering assistance and patiently taught him the equations he didn’t understand-he always growled and hid his face when I laughed and ruffled his hair every time I teased him. _

“I remember that one time you were cooking for home ec., Shizuo was jealous when he found out you cook well-”

_ “Shut up and just take the praise already!” Shizuo growled, looking away from me. I simply smiled and felt warmth touch my heart.  _

_ “Ah, do I really cook that well~?” _

“Izaya, I really think you two would be really happy-”

_ I watched as he growled at me, bringing up a posted sign and threw at me with all he got. If I hadn’t moved, I would have really died. The sign could have impaled me, ending my life. I smirked despite the panic and fear that’s growing within me. The fear of dying for reals? No, that wasn’t it. _

_ “You fucken flea, when are you going to stop screwing around! Always being sickly sweet, it makes me angry. You disgust me.” He turned around and stomped away, my heartbreaking. Ah, the fear of rejection. I really think I would like getting killed by the pole now. _

“Shut up,” Izaya whispered, only for Kadota to ignore how quiet it is. Kadota didn’t notice the pain written on the raven’s face, didn’t notice the sound of Izaya’s pulse rushing as he remembers all those bitter memories.

“You two could find peace and be satisfied, I really think that both of you could-”

“I said, SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Izaya shouts, dropping the bag of take-out and gripping Kadota’s shirt as he slammed the man to the van. “You have no right to fucken criticize me, you don’t even know the entire story of it! Me? Harsh? Oh yeah, I guess I was if it were to anyone. But that was Shizuo, the fucken monster who always hated my guts! Just because he realized he has feelings for me, doesn’t fucken mean I have to say yes!” 

Kadota stared with wide eyes, looking at Izaya as he was trembling and panting. Izaya was right, he knew that he truly is just going off by how sad Shizuo seemed when he visited after hearing the news. He just felt the need to tell Izaya off some way, yet not understanding Izaya’s story of this. 

“I’m done.” He looked up and noticed the tired look on Izaya, alarms going on his head. “I just wanted to get my precious sushi and everyone suddenly keeps bringing up that idiotic brute as if it's their business.” Izaya backed away and slowly picking up his sushi as he spoke, Kadota could only stare as the raven did so. “Well, it's not their business or yours. They can’t force a relationship upon me, I’m greater than that. You know I’m greater than that, so can you just-just drop it?”

Izaya was walking away now, not looking at Kadota as he said the next words, ready to place the mask once he said them. Ready to face everyone who seemed to dislike him for turning down the brute.

“There’s going to be a hotpot,” Kadota suddenly said, mouth dried as he spoke. Izaya stopped walking, yet didn’t turn around. “Shinra was talking about inviting you and Shizuo like a small high school reunion, you know? I know what I did wrong, it wasn’t really my business. I just wanted to know why he got rejected so-” He was going to say cold, harsh, but he didn’t want to upset Izaya again. “Anyways, are you going to come?”

A sigh was heard, Kadota feeling relief as he watched Izaya gave him a small true smile. “If you guys will still have me.” 

Izaya left, walking past Dotachin’s gang and looked forward. In the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of yellow but ignored it. Even as he heard Celty’s bike neighing him to stop, he ignored it and continued walking on the sidewalk. 

“Celty, please don’t.” He heard the familiar voice but refused to show any signs to stop walking. Only when Celty ran in front of him and placed her hands on his chest to stop him, did he actually stop. Her shoulders shake, which means she had a real hassle to catch up to him or is really pissed off. Maybe even both.

‘Oh, here we go.’ Izaya wanted to laugh at how ridiculous this situation is. 

**[How dare you to show up here.]**

“Ah, what are you talking about~ This city is free for anyone who wishes to come, especially to monsters like you~” Izaya grinned as she shook her head rapidly before taking her phone back to write something else.

**[Not you, not with how you treated Shizuo. If you think I’m just gonna let you do that to my friend, you’re wrong!]**

“Celty, please.” Izaya felt himself stiffen a bit when he heard the pleading, voice familiar and brings a twisted feeling in his stomach, but he focused on Celty and kept the smirk that is surely making Celty insane.

She paused whatever she was currently texting, only to start rapidly deleting it and typing something new. 

Izaya didn’t want to listen-more like read-anything she has to say, so he simply walked past her. But just as he was about to leave, his wrist was caught by a large and rough hand. He didn’t look at who had captured him, but he tightens his grip on the bag in his other hand and spoke. “Ah, Shizuo. To what pleasure do I have to chat with you?”

There was silent paused, Celty even froze as she stared at them and unsure. Shizuo must have noticed Izaya didn’t use the nickname he always had used till now. 

“Izaya, I just want to say-I mean I just want to let you know that I understand why you said those things,” Shizuo whispered, lowly so Izaya was the only one to hear. His heart racing, the world seemed to slow down as he listened to the words that Shizuo spoke. The tight gripped on his wrist-that is surely going to leave a bruise- doesn’t burn with the sensation of hurt anymore as he tries to focus on what Shizuo is speaking. “ I w-was so stupid to say all those things from the past, while you were opening up to myself, I just shut you down even harsher. I understand why you said those things, why you were so harsh but please give me a chance.”

Everything feels too surreal, making it hard to breathe. People stop and stare at the scene they were doing, watching and unsure of what’s happening on the two strongest men.

“Izaya, please.” 

If this was happening in the past, Izaya would have been happy-ecstatic even- and maybe would even give a show of crying tears of happiness. But no, with heart grew cold as ears listen to each shout of rage from him, hope to diminish to the point it's no longer there. Wordlessly, Izaya yanks his arm away and stared at Shizuo. 

With a blank face, Izaya watched the desire and hope in Shizuo’s eyes die down as he spoke. “It’s too late.” 

And Izaya left without being chased away by Shizuo, feeling unaware of everything and numb as he heads home.

Just as he set his sushi on the table, he walked to his bookshelves and pulled out an old and worn down book. Without having to search for the page he was looking for, he laid his eyes upon a highlighted quote. Eyes closed and fingers skimming over the words, he sighed and repeated the words that rang true in his mind since the beginning of the curse of this dreadful love in high school. 

“The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains. -Chiyo Sakamoto.”

With those words said, he closed the book and placed it back in its spot. Giving himself a smile in the mirror that hung next to the bookshelves, he turned and went back to enjoy his Ootro.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost from an old account. The main change I had was the dialogue with Namie, but because there's confusion where she was standing within the situation. Hopefully, it can seem more like she's curious and amused at how Izaya have lost his cool about the matter.


End file.
